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Theism vs. Atheism vs. Agnosticism

I thought I had it all figured out. I had the comforting knowledge of my beliefs. I was at peace with my beliefs and myself.

Recently, I desire to join a fraternity of men: a group of individuals who in the knowledge of life, are like-minded, philanthropic, and believe in a SUPREME BEING.

My strong desire to be a member of this group, this brotherhood of men, cannot, and will not, nor should it, compromise my personal integrity and beliefs. A quandary? At this point it may be, or indeed it may not be. I have spoken to learned members of the craft/society/group/cult, whatever you choose to call it, and have received counseling and advice. I think the bottom line is, I have to be true to myself. Right now, I am fairly certain what the tenets of the organization are, and that my beliefs agree with them. However, I have to make sure before I have my date with the goat.

Herein lies my discomfort. Not the supreme, not the like-mindedness, not the fraternity or the spirit or philanthropy, but the ?being? thing. ?Being,? indicates a consciousness, at least to me. I mean, I believe in an order to things. Shit happens, for sure, but STUFF, LIFE, THE UNIVERSE & EVERYTHING have a reason and order. In my limited knowledge and existence as a human on a small planet in the middle of nowhere lost in the vastness of the unknown quantity of what we call ?space?, I prefer to call it Nature or DNA so that it makes sense to me, but I still believe that there is a power that is a regulatory force for existence. Is this a ?being?? Does it have Sentience? Am I getting hung up on semantics?

Do I believe in GOD? No, absolutely not. The thought of a ?god? is ridiculous to me. Do I believe in a power or regulatory force? Absolutely. This, for me, leaves "god" in the dust. Is this a ?being?? I hesitate at that. Therein lies the crux of the problem. However, with the arcane language of centuries old ritual, perhaps semantics is the case here. It may seem so, and so masters of the trade have told me. Indeed perhaps there is no dilemma at all.

So, is this theism, or atheism? I mean, I don?t agree with theism as organized religion is repugnant to me, but am I an ?A?-theist, AKA Anti theist? I suppose in a sense based on this definition I am, but in another sense I believe in a power, force and organization that I don?t, and probably can?t in my limited existence, understand. Does this then make me an ?Agnostic?, rather than an ?Atheist?? Does this make me a "Believer" rather than an "Agnostic"? Am I really then a "Theist" after all?

Food for thought.

Filed under General, Dec 3, 2005

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